TABLOID HEADLINES in regards to Lincoln

[wavysteps2003]

LINCOLN STATUE IMPREGNATED BY ALIENS

Aliens from the planet Crystaliodra landed in Washington D.C. and after scouring that city for any sign of governmental leadership, finally settled for the statue of Lincoln.

Unfortunately, one of their crew members became overly excited at finding an intelligent life form (the statue) and the end results were this.



Yes ladies and gentlemen, Lincoln is pregnant. Although the exact due date is not known, the statue looks fairly well along.

CONGRATULATIONS Mr. Lincoln and Mr.Zyrphygftx.

On a side note Congress is looking into this odd coupling (and its results) and the legality of such an act. Meanwhile, California legislatures said "We will welcome Mr. Lincoln and Mr. Zyrphygftx with open arms, even though one is an illegal alien". When President Chelsey Clinton was asked about this incident, she fired back, "well at least my dad didn't have anything to do with it!". Like really Chelsey, wrong gender.


OR

STONE STATUE WINS AT CANES

A recent tragedy turned out to have a happy ending. It all started when Mr. Lincoln (the statue) lost his left leg (see white arrow). Somehow the mint had placed it next to the 8th column in the Memorial building. Mr. Lincoln was immediately rushed to the hospital and given a cane (see red arrow) to implement his walking and drugs to relieve the pain.

During the next few hours of frantic searching, a stranger named Mr. Xtfgyhpryz (supposedly no relation to Mr. Zyrphygftx) found the leg and it was reattached.

However folks the story does not end there. Seems that the drugs given to Mr. Lincoln had an unusual side affect which prompted Mr. Brutus Reynolds to cast Mr. Lincoln in his now famous, XXX movie "Madam X and The Stone Statue", (see green arrow).



The Canes Film Festival applaud this fantastic work and gave it the highest honors, sweeping all categories, especially for the stoic performance given by Mr. Lincoln.

Meanwhile, the U. S. Congress debated for the third week in a row whether to convene a committee to look into how a statue could win a actors award. When President Chelsey Clinton was asked about this, she said "my mother had nothing to do with Mr. Lincoln's condition"

And that is the latest news form this desk - over to you Bob.

BJ Neff

[Bob P]

Too funny! Glad to see your sense of humor is still going strong BJ. BTW...What was the date on the coin Lincoln was found pregnant, and got his leg busted off?

[daggit]

OMG Thats absolutely hilarious rofl

[wavysteps2003]

Pregnant Lincoln is a 1999 and the other a 2001.

BJ

[Dick]

I told him not to have that shot of zinc, but he wouldn't listen!
Dick

[cnladue]

woooooow-i am afraid of both ,dont know which one more....

[Teryble]

Too funny, really enjoyed your story, maybe you should be a journalist in your spare time.......(what spare time, I know)
Teryble aka Maxi (you gave me that idea!)